After two years, I still remember the lecture on wellness/well being we heard in our walking class (yes, you read that right, walking- yes, in college). We talked about how most of the diseases out there are preventable, such as a person having kidney problems at 50 because they didn't drink water.
She said "you hate your job? You can change that. Find another one."
Being abused at home? "You don't have to take that. That's what welfare is for. Take the kids, get an apartment, get on some food stamps, and change it.
If you're over 18, and being physically, verbally, or sexually abused, you choose to stay. You don't have to sit there."
She went into saying that she heard her roommate yell at his girlfriend for an hour the other night. "What a waste of time. What a waste of an hour. Nobody's going to talk to me that way."
Have stress? Change it.
Never once did she it's easy to do. She just simply said you can.
If you don't like something in your life, change it.
It's not easy.
It's hard work.
It takes time.
It's worth it.
I repeat. If you don't like something in your life. Change it.
Change it!
Thanks for reading! What are you trying to change? What are you waiting for?
**2/9/13: Please note this post is a retelling of a class lecture, and meant as encouragement and inspiration. It is NOT supposed to be harsh, nor victim blaming. Different things mean different things to different people, and if you find this post negative, then this post is just not for you. I am taking the comments written on this post as a lesson for future posts to check and re-check that my point is coming across. Thank you**
Way to victim-blame. What about those who are abused and don't have kids? You don't get welfare. Even if you've got kids, what about a place to stay? The section 8 list only opens up to new applicants for a week every five years, and even then, you get an application if you're picked from a lottery. Where do you live in the meantime? Shelters aren't long-term. Not everyone has family able or willing to help. How about telling the abusers to stop abusing instead of blaming victims?
ReplyDeleteMy ex kept me in the country without always having phone service. I was dressing surgical wounds with toilet paper and didn't always have food. He slowly battered me down so that I didn't see it happening, and believed I deserved it when he hit me and raped me because I said no. We were in a relationship, so I deserved it. Only when I was ready to kill myself did a friend I managed to make on the sly pull me out of it.
There was no government assistance for a non-childed person. Even if there was, I had no way to get to any help.
You are lucky you've ever never been there or had the means to get the aid to get out. Not everyone does. Shame on you for shaming the victims.
I'm sorry you were ever in an abusive relationship, and I am super happy you changed your circumstances and got out. You are an inspiration to all those still in abusive relationships. I'm not sure how the welfare part would work, I was retelling the lecture we had in class. I'm sorry there was not government help where you are from. I'm glad you were able to work around it, and despite the lack of government help, get out of such a terrible thing no one should have to go through.
DeleteI'm sorry if this post seemed negative; it is absolutely not supposed to come off that way. You prove the point that if you are in a bad situation you can change it. Thank you for reading, and your point of view. I will try in future posts to make sure my wording and point is more clear.
I think you need to re-read the blog post. NEVER once did she blame the victim! I don't know where you lived when you were so horribly abused, but this same friend who spirited you away could have taken you to a police station where you could have pressed charges against your ex. Where did this friend take you when you were "rescued"? You might have been able to get that same help long before you did.
DeleteI am sorry you experienced such abuse. I pray your ex is no longer able to hurt you. I do believe you are in need of some counseling as have taken this encouraging blog post to "change your circumstances" to a dark place. If there is any shaming to go on, it would be towards the ABUSERS ...